After seeing the third installment of the Jurassic
Park series, you may feel like you just saw a TV movie of the week.
Jurassic Park III is much lighter and funnier than its predecessors
and like a TV movie, stars a bunch of refugees from prime time.
The cast includes such notables as William H. Macy (ER),
Tea Leoni (The Naked Truth),
John Diehl (Miami Vice),
and Michael Jeter (Evening Shade).
Maybe I'm just no longer able to be impressed by special effects,
but it seems that the budget for Jurassic Park III was perhaps a
little smaller than for the first two movies. There are long stretches
of the movie where we don't see any dinosaurs and many scenes look like
they were shot on a soundstage rather than in the jungle. I spent
the movie trying to figure out whether the writers meant this to be a comedy
or whether it just worked out that way. There's no doubt that there
is a lot less blood and gore. I half expected a notice at the
end saying that no dinosaurs were killed or injured in the making of this
film. Even though Steven Spielberg is not the director this time,
the plot involves a kid (Trevor Morgan) who is stranded on "Site B", the
second island populated by dinosaurs which was the locale of The
Lost World. How the kid gets stranded in the first place, strains
one's credibility since he is para-gliding from a boat 200 miles off the
coast of Central America but only about 100 yards from Site B. I
don't have to describe what happens next. Soon, we get the
boy's parents (Macy and Leoni) hiring Alan Grant (Sam Neill) famous survivor
of Jurassic Park, to accompany
them to the island in search of their son. Neill's ex-girlfriend
and fellow Paleontologist (Laura Dern) has a small cameo. She has
given up on Neill and also, apparently, on her career to get married, have
kids and become a stay-at-home mom. As if this isn't sending enough
wrong messages to the young girls in the audience, later in the movie,
Neill tells the kid that there are two kinds of ``boys" in the world, those
who want to be Astronomers and those who want to be Astronauts. No mention
of what "girls" want. By the way, I wanted to be both. Anyway,
the small part played by Dern just makes you wonder what ever happened
to her career. Perhaps it isn't possible to survive dating both Billy
Bob Thornton and Jeff Goldblum. Anyway, the action moves to the island
where the distraught parents, Neill, and some minor cast members doomed
to be eaten, crash land and start trying to stay alive while searching
for the boy. The new angle for this film is that the Raptors are
much smarter than previously thought and can communicate while working
together to kill stupid humans. This is all a bit reminiscent of
Aliens and soon we find
that the boy has survived in much the same way as ``Newt" did in that movie.
However, there is never much tension and all the extras are killed off
half way through the movie so there really isn't much of a climax.
In fact, this is the first time I can remember in this kind of a movie,
where we come to the apparent end when we are supposed to be scared out
of our seats by one last dinosaur attack, and it really is the end. Nothing
happens! There are a few funny bits such as when the T-Rex first
arrives and Neill advises everyone to stay very still. They all run off
leaving Neill to face the T-Rex alone. There's even an appearance
by Barney which is a lot
scarier to me than the rest of the movie. Neill and the rest of the
hapless humans are chased for most of the movie by a giant dinosaur who
has swallowed a cellphone that keeps ringing. Does this sound at
all familiar to anyone? Captain Hook and the crocodile that swallows the
alarm clock, perhaps? Oh well, I guess everything is derivative
now. The cast is good and amusing. Neill, as always, is great,
and William H. Macy, a.k.a. the busiest man in Hollywood, does another
good job here. Leoni doesn't get to do much except look worried and
scream. Jurassic Park III is definitely an example of a movie
where the trailer is much more exciting than the movie, itself. The
smart Raptors are pretty much missing through most of the movie.
This is because the Raptors have all got married, had kids and become stay-at-home
dinosaurs. Who knows what kind of a message this is sending to the
young Raptors in the audience. What's this world coming to when our
favorite kind of dinosaur has become a bunch of girlie-Raptors!